FREEDOM OF SPEECH

While currently continuously listening to the new single of my most favorite boy band, I also keep myself updated with the reactions people give to this song. Having read tons of comments in youtube, I've got enough inspiration to blog about what I've always been keeping in my mind for long. Let's say 85% of the comments I've read were positive or maybe neutral, that's because they came from the fans who genuinely love the song (I'm one of them, hell yeah). The other 15% were more like direct attacks to the boys. Some called their music shitty, some called them gay, some thought Justin Bieber is better than them and Ed Sheeran, and some other called them another 5 versions of Justin Bieber. Alright, people, hold your thoughts right there, keep them to yourself, or let it out somewhere else that won't negatively affect the other people and their fans. If ones like something or somebody, just let them continue liking it because they're happy that way. Is it really necessary to show your opinions? Even if it is, shouldn't it be more appropriate to show it somewhere else? Come on, not on their channels, not on their pages, not to their private twitters, not in such area where your opinions will hurt so many people. You also like something else or somebody else that the others dislike, so imagine how you'd feel if people say so many extreme negative things about things you really really love. Also, the fans, I don't see how you should start saying bad things to the people who go against what and who you like. I don't see how you should start drama over these tiny things. If you like something or somebody, just keep on supporting them, and ignore the hates. Those not-wise debates by using so many bad words won't help anything. If you are to give critics to each other, make sure they will be constructive.

Okay, here comes to the point I'm dying to make. It's freedom of speech... Everybody has it, everybody is using it, everybody seems to enjoy using it, but I think many are misusing it also. It seems to me that they are taking advantages of the term "freedom of speech" to badmouth about whatever they feel like badmouthing about without giving it enough thoughts. It's like one day, they wake up from a nap feeling pissed by something, and just go straight to let the world know about it mostly through social networks. People these days, they seem to care less about how their little words could actually cause such a big fight. And little do they know that their words could actually cause pain to the others.

Promoting universal peace comes from almost every mouth of ours, but what we're doing is pretty much in different lines of what we want. To the people who started the freedom of speech, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. If I were you, I might be, as for now, filled with disappointments. From what I see, the misuse of freedom of speech has been worse ever since social media and social network has improved. Having said that, I'm not putting the blame on social media and social network tho. I know the intention of improving social media and social network was purely good.

You, readers, may wonder why I blog about this because for sure, this is not gonna make any change. That's right, this is what I want, tho. I just want to let it out on a platform where my entry is not really accessible. Why? Because people won't use their freedom of speech to start a debate here. I just want to embrace this little peaceful, calm quietness I'm having right now. These days, madness is everywhere, and peace and quietness are just so rare.  

The crap that I could really feel when I rap along!

It's getting kinda difficult, adjusting to this lifestyle

No one here to hear me out, so I just write down

Since the last one, I promised not to love again

Broken hearted, it was even hard to trust a friend

So I just pretend like life is going good

Never put a smile on, even though I know I should

You got the world, the people in it getting in between us

Why can't we just agree, like shit it ain't a damn prenup

That night to remember, I felt like you're the one

I didn't wanna tell you, I was never good at speaking up 

I want you to be happy, happy that you're with me

I got your back, don't even worry bout supporting me

My visions getting blurry and life's getting distorted

I'm always in the studio, work and recording

Don't need to prove it, I need you to take care

Wondering if you think you're too good to stay here




When I look at you I see a different kind of beauty

Even though you did pursue me but you didn't see right through me

I'm not a perfect person but you see me perfectly

And I ain't gotta worry bout you ever hurting me

Build up your confidence, I'll help you take a stand

I got your back, you and I, that's my greatest plan

I'm who I am today and I got no regrets

And what we built for us is something that I won't forget

In this world, if there was more love I would give more

I'm glad you weren't the type to judge what I live for

Every show I go to, gotta deal with the assumption

Of what the ppl perceive, try to brush it off like it's nothing

I look forward to every trip, and I do it for the music

But when I'm gone, my excuse is that I'm coming home to you quick

But let me do my thing with this dream I'm gonna pursue

I would hate to ever hurt you and patience is a virtue



This is not what comes from me, definite;y... This one comes from one of my idols - 

J.Reyez and I'm so thankful for this song, for it expresses my unspoken words.

The loneliest time...

Today is baby Sophia's first ever birthday :')

I had been hyped about this for days... I had been looking forward to TODAY!

Expectation: It will be the best party ever... I'll be taking lots of photos of my boobear, i'll be smiling and laughing the hell out of me!
Reality: A crowded party... sat down quietly, and took few photos!

Being alone in such a crowd of people I don't know makes me feel a bit (yeah, just a bit) lonely; that's what I think. But today, I experience the loneliest time of my life so far! It is actually when I was surrounded by all the familiar faces - relatives and colleagues; however, had no one to talk to. Could life get any lonelier? :|

I think I don't know what else to say... so, later folks!

Souzana - une fille pas comme les autres!

Huhu... Il est 5:14AM maintenant et j'ai pas envie de dormir. Il y a déjà plus de neuf mois depuis mon dernier cours au CCF. La langue française, elle me manque. Donc, j'ai décidé à écrire un article en français. Je sais que j'vais faire beaucoup de fautes, mais ça m'est égal haha!

Alors, Souzana - une fille pas comme les autres. Tu peux me poser c'est quoi ça? pourquoi pas comme les autres? Attend, elle n'est pas vraiment une fille? LOL, peut-être. Il y a un chanson de Céline Dion, je pense, qui s'appelle "Un garçon pas comme les autres" et cet chanson là parle d'un garçon qui est, en fait, homosexuel, lol. Mais non, j'suis exactement une belle fille. Urghh, pas belle, mais quand même une fille. J'suis pas comme les autres parce que je possède plein de personnalités des hommes. Uh... je sais pas comment je peux décrire moi-même, mais savoir que j'suis différente est suffisant.

Bon, je n'ai plus de chose à dire... J'vais au lit, bises! :) x

Uh... ehm... what?

The moment I start writing this entry, I actually have so many things on my mind that I can't manage to find a proper title just yet. This, as usual, will be the meaningless crap, so you can choose not to continue reading, lol. But in case you manage to finish it, will you please help me find a title? Thanks :)

It's been almost 4 months now that my one-year-younger-than-me auntie is here in Cambodia, and come to think of it, I haven't gone out with her yet, no, not even once. I don't know if I will ever hang out with her within these 6 months, but I do intend to sometimes (hehe). We used to be really really close back to when we were kids, but what happened? Why am I so awkward around her now? Filled with questions, I decided to sit down calmly and think of what has happened over these years. That was when I found some logical reasons...

It was in 2008 when I started to feel awkward with her. I guess the reason was puberty!!! Ever since puberty hit us (lol), we continue to grow with very different interests and personalities. I've been growing in a way that I'm not sure if it's positive or negative. To put it in a positive way, I've grown to be independent and boyish. And to put it in a negative way, I've grown to be a loner and still boyish, lol. My aunt is now a woman, a girly woman which is really different from who we used to be when we were kids. The thing is I really feel uncomfortable talking to girly girls, and it seems to me that the conversations between us are so awkward since we don't share the same kind of interest. Anyways, my aunt has been hanging out quite a lot with my sister and my niece and some other cousins too because I happen to have a lot of girly relatives. In fact, I'm the odd one out. So far, I've never had anyone who is in the same category as mine, and that sucks, you know... I guess this is also the reason of my refutation of meeting relatives.

Anyways, moving on, I also found another reason, and that is comparison. To be exactly frank, I've never been a fan of comparison, and I tend to automatically become the most pessimistic person in the entire planet when I am put in any comparison. I just hate being compared so much tho in some cases I'm better than the person being compared to me. Having said that, I wouldn't mind though if I'm compared to anyone over major things like study, job, life... etc. But in the case that I really hate, I'm compared to my relatives over such silly things like height, weight, skin color, cooking skills, drinking wine... did I just say drinking wine? Yes, drinking wine... How silly!!! The other day when I refused to drink another glass, my aunt's mom went like "Come on, your aunt is good at drinking red wine... you should be good at it too, or you may lose to her for that." The moment I heard that, I thought to myself "Am I in just a family gathering? or am I in some sort of competition?" Gee, every time grandma or anyone else says things like these, I just wanna ask her right away if he/she really doesn't have any better things to say. Whether I'm better or worse than your kid, just PLEASE leave me the way I am. I'm happy with who I am, what I do, and how I do it, and I really don't feel the need to always be better than your kid. I'm tired of these silly comparisons! It's thing like this that makes me keep distance from my relatives, and of that I'm 100% sure.

I don't know what to do now, tho. I've thought of hanging out with my aunt too due to some guilt buried inside me, but still, every uncomfy feeling I have prevents me from doing so. Anyways, one thing I know now is that nobody's happy with what I'm doing. Wish I could just disappear... sometimes!

P.S: Any suggestions for the title? :)

Astraphobia

It's 3:37 in the morning on this very dawn of the day, and the big heavy rain has just paid a visit to the land of Phnom Penh, Cambodia for about 10 minutes. Gee, this is scary... and not long ago have I just realized I'm also having astraphobia. FYI, it's fear of thunder and lightning.

Have you seen Ted movie? If you have, then no, my fear is not that bad as Ted's and his buddy's. I'm just really afraid of that sudden light and that very loud sound, but my reaction would be just staying very still and kind of starring at the sky, lol.

I don't know why I'm blogging about this. I have nothing else to talk about besides telling you I have this fear... well, I just have nothing to do right now, lol.

Anyways, goodnight, good morning, good afternoon, world :) x

May the road be not flooded... nah, it's already flooded by now, I guess.

Porridge... what a memory!

YAY my mom's back!!!!!!! Okay, I know what you're thinking... why doesn't the intro of this entry match the title at all? Haha be patient, I'll get to that very soon. Anyways, yes, my mom's back from Preah Vihear :D She went there for coupla days for her hols with my relatives. Dad was supposed to go with her too, but unfortunately, he didn't feel well at the dawn of the departure day.  That means those few days I somehow needed to babysit my dad, or maybe we can call it "daddysit"? LOL...

Those few days reminded me of a time when I daddysitted (lol) quite long ago. Same story, my dad was sick and I wanted to get some porridge for my dad to eat, but I was young and had no money at all. So, the only way was to make a perfect bowl of porridge by myself. Perfect? you prolly doubt my cooking skills right now. But yes, you're right, it was nowhere near perfect. In fact, it wasn't porridge at all, lol. Turned out it was half rice, half porridge, and I'm sure it was half raw as well. Anyways, what did I do next? Threw it away? NO WAY!!! I didn't want to waste the rice, so yeah, I ate them for lunch dinner :| It was horrible, I tell ya... I barely finished it, and thank god, it was only one can of rice!!!

Did I let my dad starve? Of course not! Haha... I decided to go to my sister's house nearby and asked if she had any rice left. Luckily, I got a big bowl of rice for my dad - enough for his lunch and dinner. Phew... problem solved, but sorry dad, I knew you wanted to eat porridge but rice was better than half raw rice and porridge, right? I tried my best... :|

Man, what a memory!

Youngest child is loved by everybody, they said... Youngest child is lucky, they said...

You know what, if there's ONLY ONE thing I've learned from this life, it'll be this - BEING YOUNGEST CHILD SUCKS TO THE FULLEST!!! gee, give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! give me a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!